Ticket to ride – nope just show them you pink pole and see how it goes!

There is more to do when you get collared without a fare – just put on a and you’ll find that all is forgiven. I used my secret pole-dancing weapon to distract the conductor and then we all hid behind the bear whilst he pretended that his ticket was right down at the bottom of his pockets . the conductor got bored of waiting 0 then we all hopped off the bus loaded down with the x-poles when we got stuck in a traffic jam!

Here is how Kim Wilde dealt with a similar situation!

This is easy of you are either a professional pole dancer or an 80s pop starlet but what about the rest of us … well that is where you need the performing bear. So always keep one handy – even if it is small one no bigger than a squirrel monkey – in fact even if it is a rubbish dancer.